


House Wars

by hobyblack



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Hunger Games (Movies), The Trailsman Series - Jon Sharpe
Genre: Fluff, High School, Hogwarts, Humor, Light-Hearted, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-10-30 09:20:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17826053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobyblack/pseuds/hobyblack
Summary: The Slytherins are at war with the Gryffindors, the Ravenclaws are exhausted, and the Hufflepuffs just want everyone to get along. Flash Thompson may or may not have a crush on Peter Parker. Draco Malfoy just wants attention and Harry Potter just wants a nap. Clove, Johanna, and Glimmer are the popular girls while Liz and Michelle are just trying to get ready for Decathlon. Eventually Flash/Peter and Draco/Harry and some other ships.





	1. Chapter 1

Jamie sat on the Hogwarts Express wondering how his life had got so strange. Sitting next to him was his younger brother Justin. He had known Justin all of his life. They had the same mom and different dads. Sitting across from Jamie was the brother who he had met this summer. Peter Parker not only shared a mother and father with Jamie, but he also shared the same face.

Twins. Jamie had gone sixteen years without knowing he had a twin. It felt wrong. Justin was his real brother, not this Peter guy that he barely knew. If anyone was his twin it should have been Justin. They were born a year apart and had fought through life together when no one else had their backs. And now they were going to Hogwarts.

Jamie had known he had what he had called powers. He didn't know anything about the world of witchcraft and wizardry. He didn't feel at all like a wizard. As far as he knew Justin had no powers. Justin thought perhaps he was a squib, a person from magic parents that couldn't do magic themselves. Then again there were Muggleborn kids that could do magic even though neither of their parents could. Justin was a Halfblood. Jamie and Peter were what they called Pure Bloods.

Jamie hated that. There had never been anything pure about him in his life.

"You're going to love it at Hogwarts," Peter said, as the Hogwarts Express flew them off to wherever the hell this Hogwarts School was. Jamie had read you couldn't even get into the school without some kind of magic.

"What if I can't do any magic?" Justin asked.

"You probably just need to learn," Peter said. "Most kids started out at eleven if you were taught then..."

"So basically I'm five years behind in school," Justin said glumly.

"Better than six," Jamie said, although he was sure Justin would have a harder time with the material than he did. Jamie was a quick learner and absorbed a lot of information from books. Justin was never very interested in school. Neither was Jamie, but he had never had to try very hard.

"I'll help you study for your O.W.L.S.," Peter said. "It'll be okay."

"Owls? Why do I have to study owls?" Justin asked.

"Those are the tests you have to take at the end of the fifth year," Peter explained. "I took them last year. There's also N.E.W.T.S. which you take at the end of the seventh year. That's the last year of school."

"The good news is we don't have to take math," Jamie said. Arithmetic was an optional course so needless to say it wasn't on the agenda for either of the Atwood brothers.

"The only class you really have to worry about is Potions," Peter said.

"Why do I have to worry about Potions?" Justin asked.

"Professor Snape is the meanest teacher in school," Peter explained.

 

* * *

 

"I can't wait for Potions class," Flash was saying. As a general rule, Slytherins and Gryffindors were mortal enemies. Flash was a Slytherin. Peter was a Gryffindor. This was perhaps not the only reason they didn't get along but it was certainly one of them. Slytherins usually kept to themselves, but Flash was on the Decathlon team with Peter, Ned, Liz, and MJ. Flash liked to think he was good friends with MJ and Liz. He had joined their compartment, much to MJ's chagrin. Liz was nice to him because Liz was nice to everyone.  MJ was more bitter than her friend.

"That's just because Snape favors all the Slytherins," MJ pointed out.

"Not only because," Flash said. "He also picks on the Gryffindors. It's hilarious."

"What do you have against Gryffindors?" Liz asked, a slight frown on her face.

"He has a crush on Peter and he doesn't know how to handle his feelings like a mature human being," MJ said,

"Gross! Parker? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't date him if was the last person on the planet," Flash said.

"Oh," Liz said knowingly. She nodded. "You do like him."

"You're just trying to get me mad," Flash said.

"Are you sure?" MJ said. "Maybe you don't even know you like him because you're so out of touch with your feelings."

"No," Flash said. "You're not going to play those mind games with me, Michelle. I'm not falling for it."

 


	2. Chapter 2

Justin was terrified of going to Hogwarts. He had never done any kind of magic before and try as he might, he hadn't since he learned he was apparently a wizard. When he had went to Ollivander's Wand Shop, Ollivander assured him that his wand would do the trick, but Justin had no idea what he was talking about. The textbooks looked insane. And to top it all off he was supposed to be in fifth year. He was lined up in the Great Hall with all the first years and Jamie, waiting to be sorted into a house. Peter had explained that houses were a big deal in Hogwarts. They were like cliques or something. Except they were school teams that would get points for doing good things or lose points for doing bad things. Justin was sure he was going to lose a ton of points for whatever house he was in.

Peter was in Gryffindor and had told them that Slytherins and Gryffindor were arch rivals. Peter also said he had friends in Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, the other two houses. Justin was hoping that he would be in the same house as Jamie or even Peter. He didn't know Peter very well but he had promised to help him with school and was really friendly. At least he would have someone to sit with.

After the first years were sorted by some sort of magical talking hat it was Justin's turn. He sat down and they put the really old and ragged hat on his head. Justin wondered what the hat did when it wasn't sorting students into houses.

"Hmm..." The sorting hat said. "Lots of fascinating thoughts in your head." Was the hat actually reading his mind? That was kind of badass. Would the students learn to read minds here, too? "SLYTHERIN!"

Every time the hat sorted someone, it yelled out the name of the house loudly and would usually involving some whooping and clapping from the other students. The entire Slytherin table starting hollering, whistling, and applauding. Justin had never felt more popular in his life. The Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs clapped politely, too. Peter clapped loudly from the Gryffindor team even though he had told Justin Slytherins were basically his mortal enemies.

Justin went and sat down at the Slytherin table. Several boys shook his hand and welcomed him to the house. A couple of girls gave him high fives. Justin also noticed that almost all of the Slytherins were hot.

He sat down and waited for Jamie to get sorted, silently hoping that he would be joining the Slytherin table.

The hat stayed silent for a long time on Jamie's head. You could hear a pin drop in the Great Hall at that moment. The sorting hat said nothing else but "RAVENCLAW!"

Justin clapped loudly. He tried to remember what he had heard about Ravenclaw. Was that the nerd house? That was weird. Dumbledore, the headmaster of the school stepped up and announced it was time for the feast. He was a really old guy with a sick beard that looked exactly how Justin pictured a wizard would look.

"This is bullshit," one of the guys at the table who had introduced himself at Flash said. Justin didn't know what he was talking about. This feast looked absolutely delicious. He bet there was more food in the Great Hall at that moment than he had ate in his life. And better food at that. Wizards had some strange foods. Justin had been delighted by the Chocolate Frogs until Jamie pointed out that he was eating them alive. "Where's Professor Snape?"

Justin remembered that name because Peter had said he was the worst teacher.

"He's not teaching potions this year," a pale blonde boy, Draco said. "It's Professor Slughorn this year. He's supposed to be great. He taught here when my parents went to school here. He leads the Slug Club, which I intend to be in."

Justin wondered why anyone would want to be in anything called the Slug Club but he said nothing, instead happily shoving food in his face.

"Your brain is full of slugs," one girl said, rolling her blue eyes. She looked like one of those goth girls that wasn't impressed with anything. It was the first time Justin had heard her speak. The guy sitting next to her, probably her boyfriend had said nothing at all and looked even more bored than her.

"New kid," Draco said. "You're Justin, right?"

"Yeah," Justin said simply.

"You're Parker's brother," Draco said, and Justin wasn't sure whether it was a question or a statement.

"Half brother," Justin said. He felt like at that moment being related to Peter might not be in his best interest.

"I've known Peter for years and he's never told me he had brothers," Flash said. "Not that I care," he added quickly.

"Okay, I'm going to give you a crash course on Hogwarts," Draco said. "You'll want to be careful who you hang out with. We've got the main Slytherin Squad... that's me of course, Flash, Clove, Johanna, Glimmer, and Josh except he is weird and suspiciously absent a lot of the time," Draco said.

"Hey, where is Josh?" Clove asked. She was a short girl with long dark hair and she sat next to Draco.

"Maybe he got expelled," Glimmer suggested.

"Maybe he's with his band," Flash suggested. "I heard he started a band with some of the Hufflepuffs."

"He's always hanging out with Mark and Andy," Draco said as if that made him jealous. "There's also Bella and Andrew..." Draco motioned towards the goth girl and her bored man. "They're not always so social though." Bella waved when he said her name but Andrew made no signs that he even heard Draco talking.

"I heard we don't like Gryffindors," Justin said. "What about Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws?"

"We _hate_ Gryffindors," Flash said.

Johanna shrugged. "They're just sort of annoying, and they're probably our toughest competition for the House Cup."

"At the end of the year, whatever House gets the most points gets the House Cup. We've had it three years in a row," Clove said.

"How do we feel about Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs?" Justin asked. He was okay with having a Slytherin crew, although he would like to still be able to talk to Peter and he wasn't sure that that was still allowed.

"Hufflepuffs are harmless and usually boring," Draco said. "Ravenclaws you have to watch out for. They're smart. But not as smart as us."

Justin looked over at Jamie sitting at the Ravenclaw table. It sort of made sense that Jamie was in the smart house, even though he hardly ever tried at anything ever.

"Slytherin values ambition, cunning, leadership, and resourcefulness," Clove explained. Justin was pretty sure he had never been a leader in his life and he had no ambitions. Maybe, he was a _little_ resourceful. "Ravenclaws value intelligence, creativity, learning, and wit. So the academic types basically. "Hufflepuff values hard work, patience, justice, and loyalty. They're the nice kids, I guess."

"What do Gryffindors value?" Justin asked.

"Courage, bravery, nerve, and chivalry," Flash said.

"Sounds boring as hell," Justin said, which resulted in laughter from some of his fellow Slytherins. "And aren't courage, bravery, and nerve basically all the same thing?"

"Exactly!" Draco said. "I think you're going to fit in quite well here in Slytherin."

Justin had never fit in very well before. He was kind of excited. _Sorry, Peter. I guess we're enemies now._

 


	3. Chapter 3

Peter didn't feel like looking at the bulletin board just yet. There were all kinds of notes and reminders there but it was his first day back at Hogwarts, and he wanted to talk to his friends. Peter sat in the armchair next to Ginny. Ginny was one of his closest friends, and he hadn't seen any of the Weasleys all summer. He had kept up with Ginny through letters, and Fred had sent a letter, too. But this was the first time any of his friends had seen his brothers.

"I was hoping your brothers would be in Gryffindor," Ginny admitted. "I didn't get to talk to them yet."

"Justin is in Slytherin," Fred said.

"Ooo," George said mockingly.

"What are your brothers like?" Ginny asked.

"I don't know them all that well," Peter admitted.

"What if they're secretly jerks?" George asked. "Especially the Slytherin one."  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes from across the room. "You know the war between Slytherin and Gryffindor is silly."  
  
"You're more competitive than anybody!" Ron complained.  
  
"Yes, I'm competitive about bad grades, but that doesn't mean Slytherins are bad people," Hermione said.

"What about Draco?" Harry pointed out.

"Okay, so maybe _some_ of them are bad people," Hermione said.  
  
There now was a crowd of Gryffindors sitting together gossiping. "I don't trust Draco. Or Andrew, Bella, or Flash," Thresh said, leaning against Hermione's armchair. Thresh was both very handsome and very kind, but he was pretty quiet.  
  
"Me either," Harry agreed.  
  
"Bella's insane and I'm pretty sure Andrew is an ax murderer," Genevieve said. Early last year, Genevieve had gone out with Bella for a couple months, and it was tumultuous, to say the least. Now Bella was dating Andrew, and Genevieve avoided the Slytherins like the plague.  
  
"I heard this crazy rumor today," Ginny said. "Wanna hear it?"

"Ginny, we don't need to go spreading rumors," Hermione said. Although, of course, she wanted to hear.

"I want to hear the rumors!" Finnick said, coming and sitting on the floor, ready to hear a story. Finnick was movie star handsome and well-liked by everyone, teachers and students alike. He was dating Annie Cresta from Hufflepuff. They were the couple everyone was jealous of. Not Peter of course. He wasn't jealous of anybody. He didn't want a girlfriend, anyway.

Even Gale and Katniss joined in on this particular episode of Gryffindor Tea Time.  
  
Neville was about to go back to the boys' dormitory, but Ginny stopped him.

"Neville, come join us." She liked to make sure Neville was included in things because he was so shy.

"Really?" Neville said, happy to be involved. "Okay."

"Okay, so what's the hot gossip?" Fred asked.

"What's the tea?" Genevieve said.

"At this point, the rumor cannot possibly live up to the hype," Harry said.

"I heard that someone had a crush on someone," Ginny said.

"Gin, you're going to have to be a little more specific than that," George teased.

"Someone from Slytherin has a crush on someone from Gryffindor," Ginny said. She was good at telling stories and creating dramatic suspense.

"Someone _in this very room_."

"Spooky," Finnick said.

"A Slytherin would never admit to having a crush on a Gryffindor," Gale said.

"What if he didn't admit it, but it's just painfully obvious?" Ginny asked.

"So, it's a he," Genevieve inferred.

"Come on, Ginny," Peter complained. "Just tell us who likes who." He was getting impatient.

"They like _you,_ " Ginny said.

"Impossible," Peter said. "No one likes me."

"That's not what I heard," Ginny said.

"For crying out loud," Ron said. "Just tell us who's hot for Peter?"

"Ew, gross!" Ginny said. "Don't say it like that."

"Who fancies Peter, Ginny?" Hermione asked, forgetting that she had chastised Ginny for gossiping just a minute earlier.

"You really want to hear it?" Ginny asked.

"Tell me," Peter said, although he didn't really believe anyone had a crush on him, much less a _Slytherin boy._

"Flash Thompson likes Peter Parker!" Ginny said.

 

* * *

 

 

The Ravenclaw Tower was on the fifth floor. An eagle knocker asked a riddle. Liz Allan, the Head Girl informed Jamie and the first years that if you got the riddle wrong, you would have to wait for someone else from Ravenclaw to come and answer it correctly. Jamie was good at riddles, but still, the thought gave him a bit of anxiety.  
  
The Common Room was beautiful, decorated in lush blues and bronzes, silk hanging on the walls and the midnight blue carpet was covered in stars. There was a regal looking white statue of a woman by the fireplace.

"This is not only the nicest place I've ever lived, but it's also the nicest place I've ever seen," Jamie commented.

Liz beamed proudly. "Ravenclaw Tower is also the only place in Hogwarts with wi-fi."

"She set it up," her friend Michelle said. "She likes to brag about it."

"Well, it's a lifesaver," Jeff said. He was a very tired looking seventh year.

"I'm muggle-born, and we've had internet at home my whole life."

"Also, it's very helpful for studying," October said. She was a serious looking fifth year with a long black ponytail.

"I don't use the internet," Luna Lovegood said. There was something strange about the way she spoke, but Jamie couldn't figure out why. She often looked like she was daydreaming. Jamie instinctively liked her. 

The Ravenclaws seemed to be a pretty chill group of people. Jamie sort of wished he was in the same house as at least one of his brothers, but he didn't feel as uncomfortable here as he thought he would.

"This is the statue of Rowena Ravenclaw," Liz said as she walked over the marble statue. "She was one of the four founders of Hogwarts and the founder of the Ravenclaw house. Legend has it she died of a broken heart..."

"Big mood," Jamie said. Some of the other students looked at him strangely, but McKenna laughed at it. Jamie hadn't heard her talk much yet. Maybe she came from a muggle family, too.

"The dormitories are behind the statue," Liz continued. "Boys to the left, girls to the right."

"The stairs are enchanted, so that if a boy tries to get in the girls' dormitories... well, let's just say you don't want to do that," Michelle said.

"Are the stairs to the boy's dormitory enchanted?" Jamie asked.

"No one's ever tested that theory out," Cho Chang said, with a shrug.


	4. Chapter 4

****Apparently, the Slytherin dormitories were the only ones in the dungeons, which Justin thought was kind of sucky. Hufflepuff was in the basement, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw had towers, and now Justin lived in a dungeon.

Johanna Mason was the head girl of the Slytherin House, and apparently, everyone took her very seriously. Justin wasn't sure if it was because she was hot or because of the rumor that she once cut another student's pinky finger off. Justin found this hard to believe, but it was also a terribly specific rumor for someone to have just made up out of nowhere.

She lead everyone down to the dungeons. Everyone except Justin and the first years knew the drill. Justin was confident that each one of the first years knew more than he did.

“The entrance to the Common Room is a bit hard to notice. It's a wall of bare stone. You should memorize where it is so that you don't get lost and start telling the password to a random piece of wall,” Johanna said.

There was nothing about this random piece of wall for Justin to memorize, but she told the password "white snake," and the wall slid open to reveal a stone staircase that looked like it descended into the pits of hell.

"This isn't spooky at all," Justin said. But as he walked down into the Common Room, he was very impressed with what he saw. It still looked like a dungeon, but it was decorated with leather sofas, dark wood cupboards, skulls (did they have magical properties?) The chairs, the walls, almost everything looked green. There was a snake carved into a fancy fireplace. Justin instinctively went closer to it. The dungeon wasn't exactly warm.

“You'll get used to green glow,” Glimmer told him.

“Has anyone noticed something missing?” Draco asked.

“It looks exactly the same as last year, Draco,” Flash Thompson said.

“It's not a something as much as a someone,” Draco said.

"Maybe he really did get expelled," Glimmer said.

“No, I saw him on the train,” Clove said. “He's just ditching us. Again.”

“Who's Josh?” Justin asked.

"He's a sixth year and Draco's wingman," Clove said. "He's kind of a dumbass, but we love him."

“Everyone loves Josh,” Flash confirmed.

“But Josh doesn't love us,” Clove said, pretending to be sad.

“Where could he be?” Draco demanded.

 

* * *

 

Josh happened to be in the Broom Cupboard on the first floor that was tucked underneath a set of spiral stairs. It was typically used for things like you guessed it, keeping brooms and cleaning supplies. It was rather small, not a great place to hang out. Unless... you were looking to be discreet.

Andy was not exactly sure why Josh wanted to keep their relationship a secret. Was it because he didn't want to come out? Because he was embarrassed by Andy? He didn't want to think about it too hard. They had been seeing each other all summer, and now they were seeing each other in the broom cupboard. Seeing each other a word which here means "making out."

“Josh, I should probably get back to the Hufflepuff Common Room...” Andy said. “People are going to notice we're missing.”

Josh sighed dramatically. “I hate people. I'd rather stay here.”

Andy would rather they hang out somewhere less stuffy. But Slytherins were not allowed in Hufflepuff Basement, and Hufflepuffs weren't allowed in the Slytherin Dungeon. It felt like Romeo and Juliet. A forbidden romance. "Maybe just a little longer."

He started snogging Josh again when much to his surprise, the door to the broom cupboard opened.

A guy he had never seen before opened the door. He stared at them with intense eyes. “I guess I'll come back later,” he said.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Hoby had gotten a job as the Hogwarts janitor. Caretaker. Groundskeeper. Whatever they called it here. Apparently, Hogwarts was in Scotland. But everyone here sounded more or less British to Hoby. He had gone to the broom cupboard to see what was in it mostly. He was supposed to be cleaning up. But everything was already clean. Maybe it was one of their magic spells. 

The broom cupboard held just about what you would expect. Cleaning equipment, brooms. Also, two of the students kissing. Hoby left them alone. He wished he would have made a joke about it being a little on the nose hiding in the closet.

Hoby decided he had enough of “working” for the day. There wasn’t anything to do anyway. The students were giving him weird looks, and as much as he would like to explore the castle he also wanted to avoid any more social interaction with humans for the day. Were witches and wizards humans? He wasn’t sure.

He knocked on the door to Fargo’s office.  _Professor Fargo_ . Hoby had gotten a job as the janitor and Fargo had gotten a job as a teacher. He had more than a few gigs as a history teacher before, but this was his first time he was teaching  _History of Magic_ . Hoby was vaguely interested in the topic but didn’t want to admit that because his firm position was that any kind of school learning was boring.

“Come in,” Fargo said.

Hoby sat down on top of Fargo’s desk next to the papers he was reading. “I’m bored, let’s go home.”

“I hope you don’t mean America,” Fargo said.

“No, I just meant the cabin,” Hoby said. They had a small cabin on the outskirts of Hogwarts grounds by the Black Lake. Some of the teachers lived in the castle. Hagrid lived in a hut by the Forbidden Forest. Others lived in Hogsmeade.

”That I can do,” Fargo said. “I just have to lock up.”

Locking up turned to be a magic spell. Fargo looked ridiculous holding the twig he called a wand.

”Is that really necessary?” Hoby asked.

”There’s a lot of rules here,” Fargo said. “A lot of secrets.”

”What are you worried someone’s going to steal your history of hippogryphs paper?” Hoby asked.

”Sure. Let’s go with that,” Fargo said.

 

* * *

 

In the fifth year, students could pick how many electives they wanted to take. It could be all of them, or it could be none of them. Justin at first was leaning towards the none of them at all option, but he figured he could probably handle Muggle Studies. After all, he was a muggle, wasn’t he? 

The mandatory classes were Astronomy, Herbology, Charms, Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic, and Transfiguration. And since it was Justin’s first year at a magical school, he was also supposed to get private coaching on flying. At least they hadn’t put him in the class with the first years.

Potions was his first class. Justin thought it might be interesting and a lot less hard than the class where you had to transform stuff. After all, it was basically chemistry, right?

Too bad none of his friends from Slytherin were in his class. Justin was a fifth year, but he had made friends with some of the sixth and seventh years. Draco, Clove, and Flash were all sixth years and seemed to want to adopt him as part of their group. 

Potions was with the Slytherins and the Hufflepuffs. Justin was fairly sure he was allowed to associate with the Hufflepuffs on a casual basis. Which was good because one of the Hufflepuff girls came and sat right next to him.

“Hi, I’m Tessa,” she said, smiling brightly. “You’re new here, right?”

“Super new,” Justin said. “I actually don’t know how to do literally any magic.” He wasn’t sure why he had admitted that, but Tessa seemed like she wouldn’t be the type to judge.

“It’s hard at first,” Tessa said. “But you’ll figure it out. Potions isn’t so hard. It’s sort of like baking. At least we don’t have to take math.”

“True that,” Justin said. “I took Muggle Studies for my elective because I already know all that stuff.”

Tessa nodded. “My parents are muggles, so it was quite the shock to them when it turned out I was a witch. Everyone thought I was weird enough before I could do magic.”

Professor Slughorn entered the class. He was an old guy with a tweed coat and a bow tie. He seemed friendly enough.

“Hello, and welcome to Potions class! My name is Horace Slughorn and I taught my first year at Hogwarts about fifty years ago. Today, I’m going to be teaching you how to make Amortentia. What is Amortentia, you might ask? It’s better known as the love potion…”


End file.
